Ice is evil

Well, that’s what Mommah says. She worries about falling down and says she’s old and she’ll break. I think she has plenty of padding, honestly. So we haven’t been going to my park because she says I’ll pull her down, and then there was that little incident with the stupid dog that got too close to me and I kinda told it off last week, so she doesn’t think we’re gonna be welcome there for a while.

I think she’s over-reacting, honestly. She does that a lot. So I have to go poop in the field. I like the field, cuz when Mommah goes out there with me, one good yank and I’ve got that leash right out of her hand! Have I mentioned how much I think leashes are stupid? They’re stupid. They are seriously stupid. Especially those flex-lead things that people use with little dogs. Little dogs are also stupid but Mommah says it’s rude to say so. (And I mean really little dogs, the ones that weigh like as much as my dinner, not the ones that would at least make a couple meals.)

Also, when Mommah takes me outside on the leash, (which is stupid), I can yank her hard and go run right up into the woods. The woods are awesome! There’s deer poop and fox poop and squirrels and bunnies and birds and my nose just about explodes! So whenever I do that, Mommah gets lost and I have to go find her and she’s just on the porch. (Speaking of stupid…………)

So Daddee takes me to the field cuz he’s stronger than Mommah and he doesn’t cry if I pull the leash, he just tells me to knock it the eff off. And then he looks mean, but he’s not really, I just climg on him and give him kisses and he’s really a big old teddy bear. Speaking of teddy bears, they’re really fun to hump. (Just in case you might want to have a party in your pants, as Mommah says)

Today we went to the park and that was very exciting so we didn’t stay long. Mommah says the snow and ice will be gone later and then we’re supposed to get more. I like snow but this is getting old. Kinda like Mommah!

8 thoughts on “Ice is evil

  1. Little dogs are also stupid…
    Harrumph. Max would like to point out that he is not the one crapping in snow and humping teddy bears. Perhaps, Mav, your stupidity meter needs re-calibration for the cold temps, eh? 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Maverick, you must be more patience with your ma. She is about the same age as me and I have taken some very bad falls on the ice. It has nothing to do with age! Maybe try what Razz does. He likes going right outside the back door-not even off the deck-to eat ice and snow.
    Don’t fuss about the leash, ok? Sometimes that is to protect you from other beasties.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Maverick, maybe Mommah and Daddee keep you on a leash because they are afraid of losing you if they let you run free? It would break their hearts if you got lost or got hurt by something that has really sharp teeth and likes to bite. I know it’s not fun for you to be on a leash, but it makes Mommah and Daddee feel safer, and I know you love them enough to want them to feel safe. Right?

    Liked by 1 person

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